Can't Seem To Get Rid of Him!

This last Tuesday was my second visit to the arthritis doctor. I entered the office and was signing in and both the receptionist and nurse both said, (at the same time) "Oh, you allowed him to come back with you?"
"Yes," I said, but he did promise he'd be on his best behavior. So, I'm giving him a second chance."
On our way over there, I told him I'd let him go to Lowe's (which he could spend hours in there) and take him to Starbucks for a nice frozen treat, if he would act good, and try not to touch anything or for that matter, not even speak during my visit with the doctor.
GUESS WHAT? He did Great! Even the office ladies were proud of him.
Now I wonder why he couldn't of acted this well the first time around?
Oh well, that's past, so why dwell on it.
Who said you couldn't teach an Old Donkey new tricks?

John Muñoz a Doctor's Assistant? I THINK NOT!

This past Tuesday I had another appointment with yet another Arthritis Specialist. I'm hoping sooner or later, I should find the right doctor. There haven't been many doctor visits which Dad has not been there with me. He has always made it possible to take me and always been there for great support.
Although I'm thinking maybe this last Tuesday, might very well be the last time I'm allowing Dad to join me.

During the visit, the doctor decided he needed to give me 4 injections on my neck and shoulders, and change my medication. Meanwhile he gave me an examining gown and to lay face down on the examining table, and he and the nurse would come back in as soon as I was ready.
Immediately Dad comes out with, "Orale, Vieja, como le vamos aser aqui?" (reason being, I can't bend my knees to get on the table then turn over). Ok. I must admit I couldn't get on the table cause I got tickled at what Dad had just said and the expression on his face looking around like he wanted to call out, "uh, Hello, I'm I not getting any help here?" Alright, finally get situated and just as I'm ready to call the doctor and nurse back in, I feel my walking cane on my ASS! Helplessly I yelled at him to STOP! His remarks to this was, "hey, just checking your oil and reflexes!"

So, during the actual procedure of being injected and it not feeling too good already, Dad has stepped back and out of the way and happens to lean on the wall, and yeah you're right.
WITH HIS BACK HE TURNS OFF THE LIGHT SWITCH! ! !
TOTAL DARKNESS. INSTANTLY I THOUGHT, 'I'M DEAD.' HE CAN'T SEE AND HE'S GOING FOR MY HEAD WITH THE NEEDLE!'
Dad realizes what he's done, and immediately flips the switch back on.
He said the nurse just looked up at him, shook her head and just smiled. That's it? I can't understand why they didn't kick him out of the room! !
On our way home I kept thinking with my left arm resting against the windshield and looking up to the beautiful heavens, "Lord, why do these things happen to me?"
ANSWER: JOHN MUÑOZ

Story of an Old Red Ranchero Truck

Many years ago, I'd say about 20 years, there was a red ranchero pickup which had the misfortune of being bought by a man by the name of Sir John Muñoz.

John needed a vehicle badly to get to and from work. Oh, John was so excited over his new pickup.! You know, when you get a new car or truck, even if it's not a brand new one, how you just can't seem to wash it enough, and get that nice blinding shine! Well, this lasted for about a week or so. Hey, even I was proud of Old Red. It really seemed like it was gonna turn out to be a good work truck.

Dad had been driving Old Red for almost two years, when he had the misfortune of getting hit on the passenger side early one morning on his way to work. He hadn't even made it into town, if I remember correctly, I think it was about a mile from the house. If any of you know where Richard and Michelle Muñoz live, it was right there near their crossroad. Like I said, Dad was on his way to work, enjoying a good bean/egg burrito with coffee when he saw this man come up to the stop sign and actually stopped. But, when Dad was passing the crossroad, the little old man decided to go on and cross also. Well, if any of you know John really well, you can just imagine the language! ! It wasn't just about getting hit, but trying to control Old Red with one hand and not letting go the burrito with the other.! Old Red was riding on its two left wheels for a short distance till dad was able to straightened her back on all four wheels. He sat there awhile with hot coffee all over him and looking at the driver's side window smeared with what was left of his BURRITO. He looked back and the little man that hit him was in the middle of the road, with his hands and head resting on the steering wheel. (I can picture this and I think this is so funny).
They finally decided what they had to do and the man was nice enough to bring Dad back home. That was beginning of Dad's bad luck with Old Red. It sat there with a totally broken windshield, passenger side door almost resting on the steering wheel, (not a pretty site).

Ok, so he got her all fixed up again a few months later, and Old Red kept going for a few more years, until she finally started getting tired of taking Dad back and forth to work. Her transmission starting acting up and Dad knew it was either time to replace the transmission or replace Old Red.

Well, folks, Old Red had plans of her own. She didn't give Dad much time to think about his choices. She took him to work one day and from there she decided she was no longer gonna let Dad drive her in forward anymore, (only in reverse).

Yep. that's the day J.G. will never forget. Cindy, J.G. and I can never understand why John does the things he does. He could of left Old Red at work, and I could of picked him up, but NO.
What if someone decided to drive away with it! ! ! (you know how anyone would just love to drive off with a 1967 red ranchero, which does not run forward).

So, Sir John decides to leave the plant in reverse! He says he remembers the look on the security guard's face when he drove out the security gate in reverse. Dad just waved and went on. Actually his plan was to drive it all the way home (almost 8-10 miles). On his way into town, he kept passing people and just waving. He had to stop a couple of times cause "his neck was getting really tired," he said. He'd rest his neck awhile and kept going. He tried taking the back streets into town to avoid all stop signs. But, that didn't work out well. Try to imagine Dad stopped at a stop sign driving his truck backwards. That would make him stop face to face with the car stopped behind him! Aye, Aye, Aye! ! Embarrassing? Yes. Wouldn't you think so? After a few more of these stops and a really stiff neck, he decided to park Old Red at his brother's house in town. He could go no longer. His neck couldn't take it anymore.

That my friends is where Old Red decided it was time to hang up her wheels and go to eternal rest in some quiet salvage yard and away from the hands of John Muñoz.
After so many years, it's still hard to believe Dad actually did this!

He says, "when you're young, you try anything"!