Baby Sitting for Cindy

So Cindy calls me about two weeks ago wanting to know if I can sit with
the dogs. Two boxers, one male, (Odis) female boxer (Brazil) and old
grandpa, Shadow the schnauzer. I had to think about it for awhile, cause
it was Dads' long weekend off. Well, I thought, it won't hurt, it' just
for the weekend.

I get there and there is a long list of things I have to do for the dogs.
I'm thinking, "what the hell did I get myself into?" Can't do much.
I'm here so I might as well follow the list and make the best of it.
The list consist of: Don't speak loud to them cause they get their feelings
hurt, don't feed them table food, (they'll get sick), I'm thinking what kind of
dogs are these? Don't forget to give them their treats, oh, and what
really blew my mind was when Cindy told me over the phone, "Mom, I left
some wipes on the counter for Shadow (the schnauzer). "OH! HELL NO!
I AM NOT WIPING THIS DOGS' OTHER END. NO WAY!!
"Mom, she said, "they're for Shadow's mustache. Please wipe him down
after he eats cause his mustache gets into his food and it gets hard and tangled."
Well, ok. I guess it's not as bad as having to wipe his a--, I guess I
can handle that. It went rather smoothly during the day, everything
seemed to be going good. But, come night time. Didn't sleep much.
Usually Cindy will tell them it's time for bed, and all three will go into their
bedroom and lay on their own beds. Well, not Saturday night. They decided
they would all go into my bedroom. Told them to get out twice. None of the
three budged. Finally got one to leave, when I finally got the other two out,
the first one was on his way back into the bedroom. Aye! Aye! Aye!

REMEMBER THE LIST? DO NOT SPEAK LOUD TO THEM OR
THEY'LL GET THEIR FEELING HURT? Well, scratch that off the
list. I sounded like a Drill Sargent. "GO TO YOUR BEDS NOW!!!!!!!!!
There they go, one after the other. Why didn't I do that in the first place?

2:00am. (Brazil, the one with the bladder problem) decides she needs to
go out. OK. Here we go. I waited awhile. Let her back in. OK, lets get
some shut eye.

6:00am. Again with the full bladder! This time I made all three go out,
I wasn't gonna do this again in another hour. So, I let them back inside.
I sat there and thought, "I'm taking a shower and getting the hell home."
Drank my coffee, absolutely no makeup, (at this hour, I didn't care what
I looked like), started packing, gave them all a treat and left.

Don't plan on doing this again anytime soon. Poor Cindy, she'll probably
get her feelings hurt when she reads this, but honestly three pooches is too
much for me to handle. I enjoy them when we go visit, I guess cause I
don't have to take care of them then. Oh, wait, there's more. That's not
including having to stuff a Wiener with an antibiotic capsule for the lady
with the bladder problem, having to groom grandpa's mustache, and
having them follow you everywhere you go, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom.
I took my shower and left the door open, what the hell, it was just me.
Felt a cool draft while in the shower, and there's Brazil sticking her head
in the shower. Had to call her out 3 times. WOW!! WHAT A WEEKEND.
AND I THOUGHT I LIVED A BORING LIFE??????????